2 Samuel 13:11-14 NIVBut when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister.”  “No, my brother!” she said to him. “Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing.  What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.”  But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.
This is the hardest thing that some of the strongest people have had to go through. From Oprah (http://www.dnaindia.com/entertainment/report-oprah-winfrey-reveals-her-traumatic-experience-of-rape-1770712) to an unknown child who can’t even talk about it, this experience is the worst that could ever happen to an individual.
The experience is heart wrenching, because you feel like a piece of you dies after this ordeal. You feel robbed, violated and betrayed to the depths of your being.
Please check out below, and hope that you’ll find something to help you face it, or to guide you support someone going through it:
- Come to terms with it. When the reality of what has happened sinks in, you’ll be tempted to bury this dark episode of your life and never deal with it again, please don’t. Denial will negatively affect you and your relationships with others. As you come to terms with what has happened, you will have began the journey of robbing this experience of the power to define you as a victim.
- New reality. You won’t be the same again. As I said in the beginning, you will feel like a part of you is dead. The innocent belief that all people mean you good will be gone, because you now know that not all people do, some actually want to harm you. Though this knowledge is now evident, don’t let it harden you, for this will give permission for negativity to fester in your life.
- Seek help. No, you cannot do this alone. Use those around you to help you through this dark phase in your life. If possible, find a professional to guide you through this delicate process of healing. Please don’t try to deal with this on your own; you need others to stand with you in prayer, emotional and moral support.
- Pray. It will be hard to think of praying when you probably feel like God abandoned you. Verses that used to encourage you (Rom 8: 28, Jer 29:11) won’t make sense in the physical. But until you come to God with your broken spirit and cry out to Him, you will not begin your spiritual healing.
- Forgive. Yes, forgive them. It will take time and the Spirit of God in you to show this mercy but you can do it, in due course. It will take time, counseling, prayer and healing but eventually, I hope you get to this place. Without forgiveness, you will not let yourself fully heal, you will not let yourself get into healthy relationships.
- Help someone else. “Everything happens for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” (Heb 8:28) What happened wasn’t good for you, but what if it could help someone else. Someone who is unable to come to terms with it? Someone who can’t deal with the new reality? Who can’t find the strength to seek help? Who can’t pray? Who can’t fathom the thought of forgiveness?
Surely, by using your own experience for someone else’s good and encouragement will help you come to terms with your own experience in the long run.
Romans 8:28 NIVAnd we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Jeremiah 29:11 NIVFor I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.